Names, Names, Names

One of my co-workers has a habit of calling me “Mr. Cullen”, no doubt due to that being the name on my name tag. Every time he does, I have to resist the urge to say back “Don’t call me Mr. Cullen. My father was Mr. Cullen. Call me Cullen.”

Not simply because the joke won’t work because a.) it really should be a surname and not a first name and b.) even if it did, Dad’s name wasn’t Cullen.  No one at Wal-mart would know or care.

The real trouble is that I’m fairly certain my coworker is an immigrent and the whole reference would go right by him.

Speaking of references.

The other day another coworker informed me that rather than us my name she’s been referring to me as “that Twilight Guy,” since thankfully Stephenie Meyer decided to attach my name to her sparkly vampires.

Which I’m not bitter about


Anyway, this has inspired a line of thought.  A sort of re-branding.  Welltun Cares Reviews is such a dry name.  But Professor Guy Twilight’s Aquarium of Questionable Acquisitions does has an interesting ring to it.  Especially as it plays off the whole minnow/Whale thing I’ve been doing…



Potential Monster for GoblinStomper! (I)

New year, new chance to post every day a little something or other.  Work has been making me not wanna create, and as a creator that ain’t a good thing.  Thus I hope to break that little habit with this new one.

Nothing major, though.  Just a sketch I’m working on that could go into GoblinStomper should I happen to go that route.  Figure I’d post updates on it whenever I got more done.

Anyways, initial sketch, with what I’ve done since on the right.  It doesn’t look like a lot of work, honestly.  Took a while to get what I wanted.  But so far, so good.

Happy New Year! Onward to 2018!

Outside of Elwood passing, what a great year!  I went from having plenty of writing time but no money to having some money but little energy for writing.  I’ve lost more weight to the point clothes shopping is becoming an increased necessity.  I feel better now than I’ve had in years, and I’d have told you I was feeling pretty good those years.

Personally I can’t complain about 2017.

Hope things are moving in good and interesting ways for everyone reading this and the coming year proves better than this last one.  Even if the last one was good.

Merry Christmas 2017

Merry Christmas all!

This year marks the first time I’ve worked in a Major Chain Store. Meaning I’ve been bombarded with Christmas music since Thanksgiving. Haven’t minded it as much as I’d thought I might–been too busy to notice really.

However it did bring a bit of melancholy, as my store often played Burl Ives’ A Holly Jolly Christmas.  It’s one Christmas song I could listen to all year round, don’t get me wrong. However it always reminds me of his tragic death in 1978 due to a giant devil sea turtle ramming the helicopter he was traveling in.

Damn giant devil sea turtles.

It’s one of the many reasons I avoid the sea side. Of course, if I could find out how Carl Weathers managed to survive being dragged under water by the same giant devil sea turtle (only to be killed by an alien in a Colombian jungle in 1987) I might over come said phobia.

Anyways, sorry to bring down the moment. I do indeed wish everyone here a Merry Christmas!

Bermuda Depths Joke 000.png

My Family’s Theme Song This Christmas

You’re getting nothing for Christmas
Mommy and Brother are glad
You’re getting nothing for Christmas
Cause you finally got a job and your own money and you can buy it yourself if you want it so bad my God do you have expensive tastes not every needs that kind of crap what were you thinking you already have two copies of Cathy’s Curse you don’t need the blu ray edition jeez louise you used to have some sense not a lot but some oh no you didn’t just pick up that come on now what are the neighbors going to think if they see that honestly it’s like that whole thing with that Chicken Attack song all over again and if you think we’re going to put up with that again well you’ve got another thing coming Buster Brown, indeed and don’t roll your eyes like that when we’re talking to you land sakes thought you were raised better than that your brothers don’t do that and furthermore…

Wait, I Have a Blog?

Hi! My name is Cullen M. M. Waters! You might remember me as the sole author of Welltun Cares Reviews and this very blog!

Yeesh. Started the year blogging every day. Now towards the end of it and I skip entire months.

Anyways. Here’s what’s happening.


Wal-mart is happening.

For the first few weeks I’ve gotten back from work so beat I’ve wanted to do nothing but veg out.  Coherent thinking and I have been on the outs.  For the first time ever I’ve lost NaNoWriMo due to employment.

But! I’ve had a paycheck! Two paychecks!

That were almost instantly eaten up paying bills.

I remember having a pay check being more fun than this.

Anyways, I’m trying to force myself back into a more active non-work time.  This is the start of that.  I hope for more posts in future (including my detailing what will hopefully be the Most Painful Experience of My Life).

But just in case of long absences, Happy Thanksgiving!

It is still November, right?


What’s New With Mr. Waters?

Currently the financial situation around Casa Waters (Casa Aquas?) has made it necessary for me to partially forgo the Starving Artiste persona and become Mr. Cog-in-Evil-Corporation-Guy.  As of today I have gainful employment (albeit part time for the nonce.)

To answer the obvious question I respond with… well…  Remember when I made a public service announcement a few years back?  About how we no longer were obligated to shop at a certain SuperStore?

Cancel that.

Who knew, right?

Now.  What does that mean over all?

No.  Freaking.  Clue.  I’m still going through origination; I haven’t done more than look at my department (Deli) in passing.

However, there is a real possibility that the constantly broke Mr. Waters will have money in pocket.  A mind blowing concept on my end of things.  My intent is to pick up some “necessities”.  A copy of Dagon, say.  As many Universal and Hammer Horror films as I can lay hands on.  Certain Anime series.  That sort of thing.

I’m also planning on picking up some ascents for RPG Maker.  There’s a pixel creator thing I’ve had my eye on.  Also some more modern settings.  They have Horror stuff and cranking out a Slasher adventure game has an appeal for me.

While we’re talking RPG Maker, I would be remiss in not mentioning what I’ve been doing with Goblinstomper!  It’s on quasi hiatus, what with NaNoWriMo around the corner.  It’s my hope to pick it back up in my free time after November.  I also hope to maybe take a swing at independent publishing novels, but that will take actually writing novels.  And getting said novels out roughly one every thirty days.

It’s probably a pipe dream.Angry Chicken 002

That said, I don’t want you to think no work has been done.  I’ve all but talked myself into doing all the art for the project.  Angry Chicken on the right is a sample monster, as is this fellow right here.  I have two other animal/monsters drawn that I’ve yet to put in to the Devil Box.  I’ve also taken some basic steps towards drawing our Heroes.

As much as I like the original art, I think my own art will set the game apart from the pack, making it a bit more appealing for selling.  Also, it makes all those expressions easier to manage

There is a whole rant about this, but this post is running long and I’m a wee bit tired.  How tired?  Putting HTML in the text editor tired.

Anyways, that’s where I’m at right now.  I’ll try to do a wee bit better with the updating and I hope at least a running count on NaNo this year.  Maybe put a few sketches up.

Sorry, But Not TOO Sorry

So Brother Todd, Mom, myself, and a group of friends are playing Quiplash 2.  Two players get a prompt and they’re supposed to write the funniest answer for the prompt.  The other players then vote on the answers and the player with the most votes wins.

One of the prompts I get is the following:

The worst thing about being in a sleeping bag with Brother Todd is.

Being the elder brother, I of course have a duty, if not divine right, to give Todd grief.

So I do so.

The two resulting prompts were:

Odor and The Endless Farting.

Todd was a wee bit miffed.  There was a nice, loud, “The Hell?!”

Which was nice.

But not quite as nice as the second “The Hell?!” when the game finally revealed who the player’s who made the prompts were.  Me, he’d expect abuse from.  But his own mother?

(Oh!  For the record “The Endless Farting” was my answer.  Everybody voted for it and I got extra points.  Icing on the cake.  Icing. On.  The Cake.)

Dachshunds: Nature’s Perfect Dinosaur Killers

A little story before we begin.

I seem to recall the debate between warm blooded and cold blooded dinosaurs beginning when I was a kid.  I was seriously in the cold blooded camp because dinosaurs were cold blooded.

What do you expect from a kid?  Good reasoning?

Anyways, that all ended for me in the fifth grade.  It was there that I read a book that dared put forward the very idea that a grizzly bear would be able to beat a Tyrannosaurs Rex.  Because the grizzly was warm blooded and the rex cold blooded.

My immediate reaction was that there was no way on Earth that a mere bear could beat the then King of the Dinosaurs.  Thus dinosaurs had to be warm blooded.

Well it made sense at the time.

I tell you that story to help better illustrate the main point.

A few years later (okay, maybe a few decades, let’s not get technical), I was watching a program on television.  It had this video in which a badger backs down a grizzly bear.  What with a badger being a tough customer despite its squat size.

Now follow me here.

A dachshund was bred to hunt badgers.  Their very name means “Badger hound”.

Thus, it stands to reason that if a badger can take a bear and a dachshund can take a badger, then naturally a dachshund can take out a bear.

Following that clear, completely reasonable and in no way foolish chain of logic to its obvious conclusion,  then a dachshund can kill a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Assuming the Rex is cold blooded.

Which I now believe them to be.  Because there’s no way on Earth a Rex could ever hope to beat a dachshund.

I mean seriously.  Have you seen a dachshund in hunt mode?  Brr.

What’s more, you’ve never once seen a T-Rex have anything to do with the little guys.  In fact, I’ll bet you’ve never seen the two in the same room together.

That’s because a Rex is mortally afraid of dachshund.

Gotta be.  There’s no other answer.

Having come to that conclusion, I now live in terror.  I seldom step out of the house and never sleep for more than a few minutes at a time.  I don’t dare.

You see, both my little dachshund protectors have passed on.

What am I going to do if a Tyrannosaurs came knocking on my door?

What if he has a badger with him?


Two years since I’ve done one of these.  Two.  Years.  Hard to believe that I could go so long without saying “The Hell…!?” at something.

God that was a nice period.

Anyways, going on the list of monsters who never needed a sexy version of (which, let me remind you of a couple three) we now have Shelob.

The giant spider from Lord of the Rings.

As a demonic femme fatale.

The mouth sort of just hangs open, now doesn’t it?

Pretty work, I think, but really?  Shelob?

The Hell…!?

(For the record, there is a Horror Bishōjo Statue being made of Ash Williams, the hero of the Evil Dead Series:


We are inching our way to Michael Myers and Leatherface people!  Inching!

I keep having nightmares about this being done to Godzilla.  It’s just… I’m jus afraid to surf the web any more.  Really.

(No, not really.)