In Many Ways It’s a Pity I Can’t Give It the Lambasting It So Clearly Deserves

During my little traipsing through the internet I came across mention of the novel Dances of the Dwarfs.  It’s the story of a biologist who leaves his chosen field to examine what he believes is a new species of animal.  It’s a decision he comes to regret, but not for long.  Which isn’t a spoiler, as the novel opens up telling you that much of his fate.

I rather enjoyed the novel.  So much so that when, while at the same site, I was reminded of a movie version, I got myself an urge.  One that would be hard to satisfy, as the movie never came out on tape or DVD.  However, Youtube sometimes comes through for me in this regard, so I merrily made my way over there.

Fortunately for me, only the trailer exists there.  I say fortunately because… half a moment.  Why should I be the only one to suffer?

The trailer doesn’t hardly begin before I want the protagonists dead.  On fire, covered with bees dead.  On fire, covered with bees, eaten by a hungry Chihuahua dead.  And soon.

We’ll leave off the fact that we’ve strayed from the book with these two charmers (the bickering couple who are destined to become lovers, how original!)  It’s like everything they do or say is so very, very hateful.  We can’t just pour the liquor out, oh no!  We have to do target practice with the bottles.  And the smug conversation afterwards.  Yeesh.

Peter Fonda embarrassing himself here.  Jeez, how the mighty have fallen.

Oh!  And the monsters!  I wondered how they were going to pull the dwarfs off on an Eighties F/X budget.  You don’t get a good look at them, but I can assure you, they aren’t anything like they are in the book.

Man, does that look bad.

Yep.  Real bad.

Really, really bad.

I shouldn’t have to say I’m hoping for a future Blu Ray release, right?


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