If I may?
Let me introduce Past Cullen. He’s the guy who started this blog ten years ago. These are his first written words on his brand new site:
I have literally no idea what I’m going to say here. What do I need a blog for, anyway? What can I offer that millions can’t?
The only possible use I can think of for this thing is improving my writing, and I have NO intention of publishing fiction here. Essays maybe? The occasional review? Pretentiousness all the time, every time!
Maybe this will go with all the other blogs, started then discarded, forgotten amidst the wasteland that is the Internet.
Whatever. Who cares.
Here’s to hoping that something fun develops.
Any one out there?
Past Cullen started blogging over at Blogger with the above stated notion that it would end, that it would fade into obscurity like every other blog. In a way he was right. On October 4, 2006 he stopped blogging.
At least on Blogger.
He moved over here to WordPress, and while he’s had his problems with the site, he’s been here ever since.
The occasional review. The occasional essay. Poems and drawings. The occasional internet kerfuffle (though thankfully nothing too bad on that score). And yeah, the occasional work of fiction. Missed a bet with that one, Past Cull.
I’m glad you did.
I read some of Past Cullen’s writing, and more often than not there’s nothing there that seems familiar. Another person writing. As Current Cullen I find I rather like Past Cullen’s writing. I don’t understand him half the time, wonder what the hell he could be thinking, but I like him. He might not get the world around him, but he tries.
For the most part I think he’s okay. I think he did the job he set before him as well as he could, not because he had a choice in the matter, but because to not do so, to not write in some fashion, even if it didn’t bring him the kind of success he wanted (or the kind he feared), would have been a kind of death.
He hurt so much when he wasn’t writing.
I understand that all too well.
To talk about Current Cullen a moment, the past few months I’ve written more regularly than I have in years. I keep expecting some sort of burn out. Yet one day I work on the sister site, the next day I fumble with a short story or a novel, and when that fails, why hello this blog! Always something, always working.
And I here is the important thing: as much as I like Past Cullen and his prose, I’m liking Current Cullen’s work more and more. When I leave a story, it’s because I think it’s not right. Not that it’s crap, but because it isn’t what I want to say.
This post, for instance, started out jokey. It didn’t last. The words were good, but the intent was missing.
Past Cullen and Current Cullen aren’t the same people. I don’t know when one changed from the other (perhaps the seven year adage comes into play, perhaps not). It’s interesting to see record of this, to have a history, if ever so incomplete, of who I was and who I am, with hints on the Future Cullen yet to come.
Doubting himself though he might have been when he started, Past Cullen did himself quite the favor creating Welltun Cares Presents. Maybe not the favor he would have liked, but certainly the favor he needed.
Current Cullen, if he has any brains, will keep up with the blogging, here or abroad.
I’m not going to say here’s to the next ten. I didn’t even expect the first ten.
Instead, here’s to hoping something fun comes.
I’ve found it usually does if you wait long enough.