Major Welltun Cares Reviews News, or I HAVE GONE INSANE!!!!!, or Gone?

On either February 2 or March 2 (we’ll discuss the indecision in a moment) I’m rebooting the sister site, Welltun Cares Reviews. This will include a theme change, the end of the gigantic Jabootu style posts, and (here’s where I start crying uncontrollably) reformatting my 60+ reviews.

Why am I doing this?

Because I never found a woman who could love me for me.

Also, I’m fecking insane.

Which might explain the first reason.

Actually, it started with a conversation with Brother Todd.  He was in the opinion that, in the TL;DR world we live in, my reviews were Too Long so people Didn’t Read.  A better format would be individual, smaller posts, with a sort of hook to keep readers coming back the next day.

At first I balked, in part because being wordy was the entire point of the enterprise.  I wanted to talk about moviesAt mind numbing length.  Plus, multiple posts would play hob not only on the theme I liked for the site, but also the elegant web of category menu I had set up.

(You totally missed out, but I paused for a moment during that last sentence to draw and intricate web pattern in the air to illustrate my point.  Yes, my place is currently devoid of people; even the pets failed to notice.  I’m so utterly alone!)

I’m probably the only person who’s laughing at the previous paragraph.

But anyway.

Point is that, the more I thought on the matter, the more I saw a way of testing Todd’s theory of the Internet and keeping what I love about WCR.  The posts are already divided up into near separate chunks.  Why not reformat them to be individual posts?

So here’s the reboot format: each week I pick a movie to review (say Cathy’s Curse) and spend around a week talking about it (I know, who does that with Cathy’s Curse?)  The posts will be in the same style (Review Synopsis, Review Proper, and the like) though perhaps a little streamlined.  I get my bloviating, the TL;DR get the shorts and maybe I pick up readers.

A guy can dream, right?

There are some minor problems with this for me.  Besides losing the WordPress theme I like (I’m over it. sniffle.) I feel the overwhelming need to rewatch some of the movies involved.  Partial because the earlier films don’t mesh with the later style (another reason to reboot, incidentally) but more to make sure the Synopsis runs right and I’m not misrepresenting films.

This means not only watching Cathy’s Curse a second time (which is probably a precedent in the film’s history, i.e someone actually rewatching it) but also watching… Pardon me a moment…  Bile rising… The Night Evelyn Came Out of the BLARGH!  of the Grave.

This should show the love I have for WCR right now.  That I’m watching a film I vowed never to see again.

Anyway, I’ve spent this week working on site format, which means I’ve put more thought into to the reboot than the boot, if you can dig it.  Ideally not only will I have a constant almost daily update schedule, but I’ll mix classic WCR with new stuff to keep things fresh.

I’m shooting for February 2 or March 2 to start things off, because the next week has a Friday the Thirteenth and I always meant to post a Friday the Thirteenth movie on that day and, with the new set up, this will be as close as I can come to it.

Of course, with the way I run my life, November 2 is probably just as likely…

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2 Replies to “Major Welltun Cares Reviews News, or I HAVE GONE INSANE!!!!!, or Gone?”

  1. So… a reboot for brevity? Sounds like an interesting idea. I look forward to what you do with it. Sounds like a lot of work! Have fun with that lol.

    I feel you, though. Brevity may be the soul of wit, but it certainly is crushing to the sole of a writer. I find myself paring down everything I write in second draft. I usually shoot for a minimum 20% reduction, which is actually physically painful at times. It invariably results in a better finished product, but it still feels like cutting off my own fingers.

    So… good luck, to be sure, and remember the words of the late, great William Strunk: “Omit needless words.”

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