I’m only slightly joking with the above header. I haven’t done as much as I could with the years I’ve been given. I don’t regret this, but, by the same token, I do regret this. Would I slip back in time and be allowed to live my life again, I would make brand new mistakes.
Plus a few of the same old blunders. Let me say it again: I’m not exactly full of angst here.
Last weekend I did something I regret. Not take back, mind. To not have it happen would mean it could happen again in future. I’d rather it be over and done with, thank you very much.
What was it, you ask?
I watched Il gatto nero/The Black Cat.
Not, I hasten to add, the Gatto nero directed by Lucio Fulci. That would have been a mess, but might have been an interesting mess. No, this was a different kettle of fish entirely. This one claimed to be an adaption of Edgar Allen Poe‘s The Black Cat while linking itself pretty directly to Dario Argento‘s Suspira and Inferno. Oh, and it at one point claimed to be a sequel to the Dawn of the Dead clone Demoni/Demons.
The movie, in essence, is about one woman struggle against an evil witch living within her. At least I think that was what it’s about. There’s like six or seven plots dying within the confines of the flick, smothered by bad acting, bad special effects, and bad direction. And even if it had survived all that, the bludgeoning done by the writing would have finished it all off.
I should know. I watched every bloody second of it.
Why, you ask? Why would you do such a thing?
As much as a decade ago, I would have one answer: The List. As a teenager I vowed to myself to watch every Horror movie ever made. A dumb, stupid thing to vow, but one I’ve held to for years.
Until… I won’t say I grew taste. Nor an intolerance towards crap. Lord knows a casual search of this site alone would disprove that. Perhaps, then, a dulling of need. If I haven’t paid good money for something, I can walk away without a quam.
And in this case I could have, easily. List or no. It was on Netflix Instant Que. No money lost there.
I was writing a review for this site’s sister blog, Welltun Cares Reviews. I needed a B, you see. For my index. As I wanted a modernish flick, it was either this movie or Breeders, and I wasn’t sure I could deal with Breeders after sitting through so much of this. On this I wanted to get sort of a routine going over there, and that’s hard to do skipping from one movie to the next.
So I cowboyed up and did the deed. I don’t think it’s my best work, but I felt it was worth it for the last screen capture I put up. I’d put it up here, but it’s from the end of the movie and the thought of putting up another spoiler warning for the film makes me nauseous. If you want to go see it, it’s the only picture on the last page.
But I’ve digressed. Where was I?
Regret. Yes, I regret. Not just watching the movie, though. Bound to happen, sooner or later. The description made it sound watchable. I’m running a review site. Bound to happen.
But not last weekend.
Because, and the tears form in my eyes as I think of it, because Hulu has the original The Blob on. I could have got my B that way.
I’m such an impetuous dolt sometimes. A condition I pay for. A condition I regret.
But not much.