And then there is the unexpected gift. The one your heart and soul most wanted, yet you had no idea what it was or even that you wanted. The one that lifts you up out of the funk of a thousand years, where grisly ghouls surround your tomb… or whatever.
The one that, when you finally get it, warms the cockles of your cold, black heart. You miserable sinner you.
To illustrate, guess what the fine people at Team Word Press sent me in an email?
Not just state number, either, but words of encouragement. Isn’t that great?
Now all of this is well-meant and I thank whoever the one was who thought the idea up. But the whole thing struck me as… well… hilarious. They didn’t mean it to be, I’m certain, and it’s churlish of me to have the sort of fun I’m about to.
Which, of course, has never stopped me before.
Because I’m a miserable cold-hearted snake of a bastard.
For the record, though, I appreciate the gesture and effort on Team Word Press’s part and hope the forthcoming jests will be considered more at my expense than at theirs.
Here’s the email, cut up into bite size pieces with commentary from me. You might go through it and say, “What was he thinking?” My reply is, as always, “What is this thinking you refer to?”
The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:
The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.
We think you did great!
I can’t help but wonder what the other two colors read. Is the pea soup green “Great”? Would that make yellow “Good?”
Why is it I can’t help but think yellow really is: “Um… you have a nice personality… I think… least you got that going for you…”
About 3 million people visit the Taj Mahal every year. This blog was viewed about 34,000 times in 2010. If it were the Taj Mahal, it would take about 4 days for that many people to see it.
Ah, but how many people visiting the Taj Mahal leave saying, “Man, I wish there were more close-ups of Power Girl‘s naked boobs?”
Not that there are any nude pictures of PG on this site.
So don’t search.
(With this post, I gain the #1 spot in Google search terms for “Nude Pictures of PG”. Mom will be so proud.)
In 2010, there were 205 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 1334 posts. There were 140 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 9mb. That’s about 3 pictures per week.
MY GOD I’M FALLING BEHIND!
The busiest day of the year was May 15th with 228 views. The most popular post that day was Remember Your Croce.
To be a bit serious here, I can’t state enough how happy I am to see Remember Your Croce win this spot. It’s one of the best pieces on the site, and if you missed it, for goodness sake go check it out. This piece ain’t getting any better than this.
Where did they come from?
The top referring sites in 2010 were stumbleupon.com, goodcomics.comicbookresources.com, henrybrennan.com, twitter.com, and en.wikipedia.org.
Some visitors came searching, mostly for power girl, yeti, ooo, powergirl, and boredom.
On visitors searching for yeti – Grrrrrrr.
On visitors searching for boredom – An odd thing to look for. Not that I’m an ungracious host, but one can only hope they didn’t find it here.
Attractions in 2010
These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.1
Remember Your Croce May 2010
Who Knew Talking About Power Girl’s Boobs Was Obligatory! May 2007
Am I a Bitter, Bitter Man? July 2007
This is Not A Series of Essays About Power Girl (I) – Seriously, It’s Not About Power Girl… May 2006
Once again, I’m glad Remember Your Croce popped up on the list. I’m even gladder it’s number 1. So few of these little missives into the Internet Void gel quite as well as that one did
I’d like to say that the Obligatory Power Girl popping up pleased me the same way, but it doesn’t. Because no one goes to that essay for the prose. They go for the God damn Michael Turner cover.
Which is why Team Word Press can natter all about how many people visited the Taj Mahal and it doesn’t matter a jot to me. I know why all those people came here and the reason
Not that I’m bitter about that. I do appreciate the effort.
(Don’t… don’t search for the other two titles on this site. I broke the links for a reason…)
All of this is well and good, but not the reason I found all of this worthy of a post. See, at the end of the above list were three sentences that put things over the top. Which cracked me up beyond all words.
Some of your most popular posts were written before 2010. Your writing has staying power! Consider writing about those topics again.
Consider writing about those topics again, hmm?
Well, let’s see. All four of them deal with super hero comics. Out of the four, three of them at the very least refer to Power Girl in some fashion. Which means, following that logic, I should talk more about Power Girl.
Gads. What a burden on me.