Does Anyone Have 3-D Glasses?

I’m recovering from a cold or something (not Martian Death Flu… yet.) For some reason I tend to be at low ebb after Christmas anyways. Maybe it’s the whole “Another year of my life gone and I’m still an absolute failure” thing.  Almost forty years, you’d think I’d be used to it by now.  Go figure.

Anyways, here I am, not feeling good, surfing the web, and I make the mistake of hitting Chris Sims’s Invincible Super-blog.  There, on the front page is a post linking another essays of Sims on the six comics he thinks should be in done in 3-D.  But I don’t need to see that old thing.  Not when the dagger has already struck home.  Not when the following image is already there burning into my mind:

3d PG3-D Power Girl.

When I was a kid, we had this tool set that allowed us to draw Marvel Superheros in 3-D.  Came with cool 3-D glasses.

Which I lost.

During the early eighties, there was a 3-D movie binge sort of like what we’re seeing in theaters now.  I think I saw both Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn and Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone around that time.  At least that’s how long my eye has had that twitch, and any rate.  When we went, we were given 3-D glasses.

Which I lost.

Around that same period, the Son of Svengoolie hosted a presentation of Revenge of the Creature in which you could watch the flick the way it had been originally presented.  All you had to do was go to your local 7-Eleven and pick up a pair.

Which I did.

And then lost.

There have been other opportunities to get 3-D glasses, but all for shows I didn’t care about.  Closest I came this century to owning some red and blue specs was with the game Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves.  I would have liked the game – I likes its predecessors – but I didn’t bother checking my wallet.  Because it would come with glasses.

And I would lose the glasses.

Two weeks ago I went on a rare movie outing to watch Tron: Legacy.  Brilliant 3-D for a rather lackluster film.  Done in a process that doesn’t use the typical red-and-blue lens.  Really cool.

I can lay hands on those glasses.

I can still wear those glasses.

Glasses that don’t work.

I’m sitting at the computer now, wearing the glasses, staring at that picture, trying to will it into proper focus.

It doesn’t work.

It doesn’t work.

All those glasses through all those years, and now that I really really need them I don’t have them.

But I’m not bitter.


Not bitter all.

Bitter doesn’t describe it.


3 Replies to “Does Anyone Have 3-D Glasses?”

  1. Err… I dunno what to say. You can order the things online, I know that. Otherwise…
    To make a statement reminiscent of a certain Aesop about a grape-loving fox, if you had the 3-D glasses, her boobs would just give you a concussion.

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