Top Five Monsters That Should Not Be

Here are a set of five monsters that have no right existing, but do anyways.  And Monster fans the world over are thankful for it.  They are listed in no order of preference, save that the one listed at the end is, indeed, a favorite of mine.

To make this even more painful interesting it comes complete with YouTube clip and the occasional bit of bad poetry.


Oh Reptilicus you horror you!
What did you go of and do?
You flirted and teased
and then you sneezed
and knocked off a building or two!

It’s been forever since I’ve seen this flick.  Maybe even twenty years, if you can dig it.  Kinda wanna watch it again

The Giant Claw

Battleship sized thing
Stalks the skies with googly eyes
The plot’s the scary thing

If you can watch that trailer without getting rips in your brain, why, I think your brains already in shreds…

And again, despite a plot that MAKES NO FREAKING SENSE, I loved this movie.  Would watch this quick like

Night of the Lepus

You’re afraid of a giant bunny
Now don’t you think that’s a little funny?

You know what I think is funny? All that effort to keep the viewer from learning it’s a movie about giant rabbits.

This is, hands down, one of the best giant monster movies of the Seventies.  Which says a lot about the Seventies.

The X From Outer Space

Here he comes from beyond the stars
to trample upon the city’s cars.
Should have stopped back up at Mars
(They say they’ve got the better bars)

Look, you write a poem about Guilala, see how easy YOU find it.

Of the movies on the list, I think this one is the one I want to watch again the least.  I love Guilala and all.  I just wish he was in a more interesting flick.

Gigantris, the Fire Monster

What’s in a name, the poet’s said.
What’s in a mighty roar?
It matter not the shape of head
The movie’s still a bore.

But… but that’s Godzilla, you say.

Ah, but it was first released in the States as Gigantris.  Thus Gigantris is a monster that should not be… called Gigantris.

Okay, Okay, it was a stretch.  Drop it or I’ll write another poem.


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