Cheezy Science Fiction: Volume 1 – A Review

Same deal as yesterday, except now we’re looking at allegedly cheesy Sci Fi movies. And I say allegedly because one of the trailers is Five Million Years to Earth and there’s nothing cheesy about that movie!

Grrr.

Anyway.  Let’s look at some trailers, comment on movies, and maybe, just maybe, comment on the trailers too.

  • First Men In the Moon:  Detailing the real first moon landing. A lesser Harryhausen flick.  Well, lesser in my memory.  Quatermass creator Nigel Kneale wrote the script.  I love how their chairs are cargo nets.  I also love how the Selenites look like Kneale’s Martians.
  • Fantastic Voyage:  A sub is shrunk and put into a dying man in the hopes of saving him. Been an acre of years since I’ve seen this one.  Pretty good.  I love how the trailer calls the human body “an unknown universe.”
  • Earth v. the Flying Saucers:  Aliens invade the Earth. A better Harryhausen flick.  Been a while since I’ve seen it.  Kinda wanna watch it now.
  • Thunderbirds Are Go!:  Adventure is go when this family of heroes battle the forces of evil. Now with puppets.  I’ve never watched Thunderbirds.  Is it any good?  The puppets look SERIOUSLY creepy. And not Chucky creepy.   Talking Tina better-be-nice-to-me creepy.  Brr.
  • 1, 000, 000 Years BC:  Romance Cave Man Style! Now with historical accuracy.  Not.  I enjoyed this movie whenever I watch it.  Don’t watch it very much.  And, unsurprisingly, another Harryhausen flick…
  • War of the Worlds:  Martians come to Earth.  Liked this one more as a kid than I do as an adult.  For one thing, the female lead SCREAMS A HELL OF A LOT.  As well as being FAR more useless than a lot of women in thes type flicks.
  • Earth v. the Flying Saucers:  Aliens invade the Earth. Oh look.  Our first repeat.  And not three trailers after we saw it.  How marvy.
  • Escape from the Planet of the Apes:  Intelligent apes escape from… well… you know. Always liked this movie as a kid.  Had a comic/record of it back then, too.  Whether I’d like it now is another matter…
  • Godzilla:  King of the Monsters!:  hee hee hee!  Godzilla! Hee hee hee, Godzilla!
  • Fire Maidens of Outer Space:  Spacemen fall under space babes space control for space action and space lovin’. Now this looks cheesy.  And kinda fun.

    Cheezy SciFi 1 001
    The story that inspired a hundred Doctor Who episodes. At least.
  • Five Million Years to Earth: Scientists discover a deadly threat to civilization. As it might have been inferred earlier, I love this movie.  I love this trailer, too.  They keep saying that the aliens are coming, when really… Nah, see the flick.  It’s worth it.
  • Them! :  A nameless terror threatens the world than no one can describe. Except, you know, by saying Giant Ant Attack!  Love this flick.  Love the goofy trailer, too.  You even see the ants, and yet they call it a nameless terror.  Too funny.
  • The Giant Behemoth:  London is attacked by a tautology. A fun little flick with Willis O’Brien special effects.  In fact, it’s one of the effects master’s last projects.  Neat dinosaur, too…
  • It Came From Outer Space: And it can stay there, too. I saw this as a kid, but not since.  Supposed to be very good.  Had a needless sequel.
  • The Love Factor:  Sort of like Fire Maidens? Maybe?  Never even heard of this one.  The sex factor is said repeatedly.  Rated R.  For Really?
  • Gorgo:  Mama wants her baby and she wants it now. I LOVE GORGO!  It isn’t very good, but I LOVE IT!  Made by the same guy who did The Giant Behemoth.  Another funny trailer.  “Such scope and realism!”  Are you kidding?
  • The Green Slime:  Unspeakable horror plagues a space station.  Actually you can speak of it.  It’s called Bad Acting.  And Bad Writing.  And Bad F/X.  And bad theme song.  Look, it’s just bad.  Really, really bad.
  • Barbarella:  Something else, all right. Never had the urge to see it.  Although the trailer does do its job and intrigues me.  Maybe I will see it.  One day.
  • The Phantom Planet:  A lone space explorer lands on a mysterious planet of mystery and deals with the inhabitants. Of course, I want to see this movie, too.  So that doesn’t say much about Barbarella’s trailer.  Or perhaps it says too much…
  • Konga:  Michael Gough kills people with his pet gorilla, which is destined to be as big as Kong. A really, really bad movie.  Really.  Bad.  And, needless to say, I wants to see it again.

    Cheezy SciFi 1 002
    I warned him not to watch MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE, but he didn't listen. Now look at him.
  • The Incredible Melting Man:  An astronaut returns from space with a bad case of melting flesh. I hated this movie with a fiery, burning passion.  Been too long to say why.
  • Attack of the Puppet People:  Mad Scientist makes people small. Call Dr. Cyclops!  Someone’s stealing his shtick.  A change of pace from Mr. B.I.G. himself, Bert Gordon.  Never seen it, by the by.  Cuts out before it’s through.
  • Phantom From Space:  Film about a Phantom.  From Space. Another one I haven’t seen.  Looks like its filled with bad invisible special effects.
  • The Incredible Shrinking Man:  A man shrinks down, smaller and smaller. The book’s better, but the movie’s not bad.
  • Unidentified Flying Objects:  What it says on the tin. True story!  Never before seen!  And, never been heard of by me.  Interesting.
  • Mysterious Island:  Civil War soldiers travel to a mysterious island of mystery. The trailer’s film quality on this is gawdawful.  Decent Harryhausen work.

Wow.  Only one repeat trailer.  Man, the Cheezy standards must be slipping.

This, like the Horror one, is for people who enjoy watching trailers.  I enjoy writing about trailers far more than I enjoy watching trailers, so I doubt I’ll see this collection more than just this once.

Again, the quality here is poor.  Viewer beware.

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