And We Don’t Even Live Near Camp Crystal Lake…

Had I known I’d have something to post about so soon, I might not have put the last one up. Oh well.

Anyhoo, I’ve had a very instructive evening watching Brother Todd play the video game known as Modern Warfare 2.  Well, “play” isn’t the right word for what was happening.  More like slaughter, humiliate, devastate, shame, and all sorts of neat little adjectives.  I’d call him a God of War but that’s another series entirely.

For those not in the know, Modern Warfare 2 is a first person shooter dedicated to the modern soldier, as viewed through the lens of a Hollywood action flick.  A very good Hollywood action flick, but a Hollywood action flick nonetheless.

Todd, being a gentleman, isn’t playing the main storyline while I’m around, so as not to spoil things for me.  Instead, he’s playing the game ‘s online multiplayer mode, spreading the joy of knowing him to the world at large.

And yes, I just complemented and insulted him in the same paragraph.  That’s just how I roll.

For the better part of the night, he’s been playing against people whose skills aren’t quite up to his standards.  He refers to them as “Camper”, and not in the sense of people who have to deal with Yogi Bear stealing their picnic baskets.  They pick a defensible spot and don’t move.  At all.

Todd found this behavior foolish, if not irritating.  So to show these players the folly of their ways, he started killing them.  Without mercy.  As embarrassingly as possible.

Well, at least I felt embarrassed for them, watching.  A lot of the time he’d just run up to them, kill them, then run to the next one without pause.  At one point  he came up behind one victim, scooted himself into line-of-sight, then took the poor bastard out.  Just to “show him what a butt he was.”

Except he used the other b-word.

The one that I’m not allowing myself to use.

You know the one.


The most hurtful thing about all of this?  He hardly used his guns at all.  That wouldn’t have been good enough for Todd, oh no.  He used his knife.  He was running around the stages, bullets, grenades, and missiles flying all around him, knifing people.

Ouch.  Oh ouch.

In the end, the people he was playing with left rather than deal with him.

Right now he’s fighting against people of equal caliber with him, so he’s getting a karma payback, but for a while there he was too cool for school.

I almost envied his evil, evil skill for a while there.  Fortunately I’m better looking, funnier, smart, and an overall better person than he is, thus was able to resist the moment.

And humbler too.  Mustn’t forget that.

Future Cullen sez: The title started as a double in-joke.  Firstly because Todd was going around knifing people; secondly because his first name is, in fact, Jason.

However, Todd has informed me that he earned himself a streak of 13 while doing this, thus adding yet another layer to something that no doubt amuses only me.

Speaking of which, Todd has told me that “humbler” is not a word, thus proving my grasp of grammar is better than his.

Pity him.


2 Replies to “And We Don’t Even Live Near Camp Crystal Lake…”

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