So I’m looking through the spam filter over at Reviews and I come across what seems to be a reasonable reply. “Awesome blog, will post links, etc. etc.” No reference about the film in question, but come on. It’s The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave. Who’s going to wanna talk about that? Am I right or am I right?
I’m looking at everything trying to hash out why this reply got marked. No addition links to porn sites. No claims to enlarge things. No vote for Politician X. Nothing offensive at all.
Even the name seemed real. You know how it is, sometimes. You get what looks like a reasonable reply and its from KittenF***ers dot com or something.
I. I made that site up. I don’t need to know if it’s real or not.
I get to the email address and I swear I saw nothing wrong there. I was on the verge of approving the thing when, for whatever reason, I reread the thing.
It’s from europeansexpill.
Good one, Onknee. Almost got me that time.
Future Cullen sez: I knew I shouldn’t have hit send so soon. I go to the spam section here at Presents and I see what has got to be the largest bit of coherent spam ever.
I mean, every now and then I get these massive bits of spam that’s just all links. Or ones with scattered bits of nonsense sentences with the occasional link to break things up.
This is an honest to God missive. You can read the whole thing and it makes sense from start to finish.
I am halfway tempted to approve the damn thing.
Not because of all the effort that went to make it. I mean, I do that, I encourage Onknee to try harder. Mustn’t do that.
Nor is it because the spam in question is of a service I approve of. It deals with getting more dates. On-line help for successful pick-up artist ain’t my bag, baby. Strikes me as a wee bit… scummy. I could be wrong. I could be being judgmental. It’s just this feeling I have.
No, it’s the post the reply was sent to. See, whatever force guides the spam chose one of my Magical Girlfriend Essays. As we learned in them, men who surround themselves with woman sometimes end up with the wrong sort of woman. The one who wrecks terrible vengeance upon being crossed. The one wise pickup artists wanna avoid like the plague.
Had it been on any other one of those essays, I’d delete and move on. It just so happened to fall on the one for Urusi Yatsura. The anime about a young man trying to pick up as many women as he can (over simplification; just check the link).
It’s just too rich.