International Judas Doctor Who has a problem. He wants to dig up the radioactive Material X, a substance he has promised Madam X that will allow her certain country to rule the world. Trouble is, the robot he is using to dig the stuff up has proven less than ideal, even though it was based upon the mighty King Kong. What should he do?
Kidnap the real McCoy and murder a bunch of people along the way? Capital idea!
Kingu Kongu no gyakushû might well be the worst non-Godzilla Kaiju movies Toho made in their Showa era.1 We’re not talking just special effects here (though the Kong costume looks a lot worse here than it did in Kingu Kongu tai Gojira.) I’m talking over all story. If every character in this film isn’t a glaring incompetent, it’s not for lack of trying.
Take Doctor Who (please!) Every single scheme he comes up with ends in failure. Oh sure, he captures our alleged heroes and Kong himself. But he can’t hold any of them. His robot is an idiot, his men are only slightly smarter, and the one ally he has with half a brain sells him out for the first Caucasian she sees. Not very impressive.
Then there’s Kong. Poor, poor Kong. While he gets two decent fights towards the start of the film, he only helps resolves things in a way that could only be described as cold blooded murder, with him the eager instrument of the “heroes” will. We won’t get into how he’s much more like a puppy than a savage monster. We won’t mention the little detail how not only does everyone assume he understand English despite living on an island populated by one man who clearly doesn’t know the language. That he really does understand English (perfectly no less) shouldn’t surprise at all.
I suppose I should mention here that this is very loosely based on the cartoon The King Kong Show and is neither a sequel to the original movie or Kingu Kongu tai Gojira. In fact, it does the rather amazing feat of making it’s source look like quality art. Which is nice.
So. Kingu Kongu no gyakushû. Terrible movie. All on the same page.
Let me mention one more thing, before we move on. I love this movie. Honest. Bad as it is, I adore every horrid frame. I’d rather watch it than some Godzilla movies I could mention.
You want some non-demanding giant monster action, you can’t go too wrong with this one.
Just, y’know, don’t mistake it for quality.
Eeeevil Military accidentally creates giant monsters who only really live up to the title right at the end of the flick, when everyone else has long since stopped caring. Can our environmentalist heroes escape from these three evil things, or will we get lucky and see each and every one of them killed?
Bad acting, bad script (worse, recycled script), bad special effects. Over all, a bad movie.
So that means Cullen liked it, right?
No. Cullen didn’t like it. I didn’t hate it, mind you. I just didn’t care. Like all too many of the Vs. movies out there, none of the monsters in the film have enough personality to root for or against. Or, really, characters to serve the same purpose.
The movie doesn’t have It’s not over-earnest-under-budget fun or so bad-it’s-good fun. It just… is. It’s one of the thousands of movies I’ve seen that I’ll likely forget about in a few months.
Which is too bad, as that means I might actually watch it again. And it really doesn’t deserve a first viewing, let alone a second.
1 For those not in the know, Kaiju more or less is Japanese for Giant Monster. Showa era refers to Kaiju films (and perhaps Japanese films in general) made betwee 1954 and 1974.