Another post when I said there would be none! What did I tell you?
Over at Henry’s Asylum, Henry has been talking once again about his life in the Philippines, as has been the course his blog has taken since he moved there. Were I a currish man (and I am), I would have one complaint about this turn of events, which is not enough continued updates. The odds of me ever going to the Philippines are slim to none, and it’s nice having an “inside source” talking about it. The more I know about the world, the better writer I’ll be.
Yes, yes, it’s finally revealed. I am that shallow. My personalty could be lost forever in a puddle of water, unnoticed and unmourned. Let’s pause a moment to pity the poor subhuman creature known as Cousin Emily Cullen.
As selfish as my reading habits might be, it’s always good hearing from Henry, especially that he’s doing well. I was going to wish him well on the upcoming job interview and on the future business he and his lady friend Alma are going to try (real quick, Good Luck, both of you!). But then he writes ” I hope everyone had a good Valentines Day…” and the screaming monkey I call a brain demands comments on that. More like a rant, really.
Now, while I thought it was a funny rant, it’s several paragraphs long. Almost the proper length for a troll. And it was sort of off-topic. Worse, the more I wrote it, the more it felt like something for Welltun Cares Presents. And, as I hate hate hate letting this site go shallow (even if it’s for my own good), I post my thoughts on yesterday’s “cerebration”.
This, I hurry to mention, isn’t my first go at this topic. I have aired grievances before, over at another post o’ mine. Rather than force you to read to these fine, fine points, I have copied the meat of it below:
The most obvious question I can think of is “Why this week [to post this post]? Why not last week when it was, y’know, more topical?” The reason is simple: my family doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day. Like at all. Dear Cousin Emily referred to it as a card holiday, and while I was surprised my sweet cousin didn’t get in to that sort of thing, I couldn’t argue.
Now if I should gain a Significant Other (perish the thought!) I might make an effort for her sake, but I will never be comfortable until after it passes. Not since I started thinking of it as Dump the Chump day. See, I know someone who was dumped by their Valentine on that very day. Not once, but twice. Each time after he gave them their gift. Most harsh.
Brother Eric absolutely loathes the holiday. With a passion. For reasons that might well have to do with a previous paragraph. Maybe. I’m not saying one way or the other. His reasons are his own. But there are two of them. Just so you know.
(That’ll teach him not to be a regular reader of this blog…)
This, of course, explains why I brought Emily into this post with an early insult in paragraph 4. Had she read this without the insult, she might have inferred that I liked her more than I liked Eric, or that I was going soft and
Fortunately, I’m not sure she can read. Do they allow illiterate nurses? Must, cause Emily’s a nurse.
Slandering innocent people aside, below is the dross that was going to pollute poor Henry’s blog:
St. Valentine’s Day was about as miserable for me this year as it has been since… I dunno? Grade school? All this talk about what to get for your girlfriend, wife, and/or significant other is sort of like a sliver of wood underneath the fingernail. Guess what you don’t have, Cullen, and the rest of the world does? Ha ha ha!
Worse, here in the States, are the commercials. Endless pajama-gram commercials. “She’ll think you spent weeks picking the nightie you clearly want more than her out!” Yeah, if she’s NEVER WATCH TELEVISION FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS she might. Otherwise…
And then there’s the teddy bears… The oh so cute teddy bears… But this year’s been light on them, so I can’t complain. Much.
Only worse time of the year for me is on another Saint’s holiday: St Patrick’s Day.
And so on and so forth. You know it’s time to stop when you’re bring in stray holidays…
Anyway, hopeful some amusement has been derived from all of this. I know one person will laugh at it in future.
Cause I’m shallow like that…