Brief Thought on Godzilla and Gamera

For the record, there are spoilers for several Godzilla and Gamera movies in this little post. Thus the break.

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Something just clicked in my head while doing a bit of “research” into Gamera movies: Showa Gamera¹ always kills his Kaijû² opponent. Always, always, always.

Showa Godzilla seldom does.

Check it out. During the initial 17 movies, counting only the ones in which Godzilla fought another Kaijû, Godzilla killed the following:

1. Anguirus in Gojira no gyakushû/Godzilla Raids Again (1955)

2. Mothra in Mosura tai Gojira/Godzilla v. Mothra (1964) – Although, to be fair, she does die more of old age than anything else…

3. Dai-Kondoru (the giant bird) in Gojira, Ebirâ, Mosura: Nankai no daiketto/Godzilla v. the Sea Monster (1966) – Note that the Kaijû named in the title survives to fight another day.

4. Mr. Kamacuras

5. Mrs. Kamacuras

6. and Kumonga in Kaijûtô no kessen: Gojira no musuko/Son of Godzilla (1967) – Note again that the Kaijû named in the title survi… Okay, I’m being silly.

7. Ghidorah in Kaijû sôshingeki/Destroy All Monsters (1968)

8. Hedorah in Gojira tai Hedorâ/Godzilla v. Hedora (1971)

9. Titanosaurus in Mekagojira no gyakushu/Terror of Mechagodzilla (1975) – With an assist from the Human good guys, I must add.

Mechagodzilla is exempt as he is a robot.

Now on a basic level, your average ordinary Kaijû will be killed by Godzilla 56.25% of the time. A little off putting to be sure. However, if your a Kaijû with your name in the title, you will be killed a measely 12.5% of the time.

What all this means is that Godzilla is, more or less, an easy going fella. If you run away and hide, he’s not going to hunt you down and kill you. This is why Ebirbah is still taking out ships in the South Seas. You don’t present a challenge, odds are good you won’t die.

However, if you go up against Gamera, Gamera will take you out. Every time.

You could be born looking like a Ginsu knife, controled by two babes wanting to eat brains.

You could be a giant squid with emotional issues.

You could be looking for a place to lay eggs.

You could even be a poor, innocent Kaijû stole from your nest by greedy, stupid people.

It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t care what your sob story is.

Gamera is going to swoop down and f— your s— up. He’s going to do it with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. He’s going to make you wish you were never born. Hell, you’ll be lucky if he doesn’t play his theme song on your spine.

And why is that? Why is he so murderous?

Because he lets kids dictate his actions, that’s why. No one is more bloody minded than a little boy with a grudge.

Food for thought.

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¹ For those not in the know, Showa refers to a specific time period for Japanese Giant Monster movies. To be specific, those made between the years 1954 to 1974.

² Kaijû is the term used for Japanese Giant Monster.