Onknee Spambot

Onknee Spambot Spikes the Ball a Good Fifty Yards Before Reaching the Goal Line

Onknee SpambotEvery so often I come by the blog and check it out to see if it’s updated.  For some reason it never does unless I post something myself.  Of course, if I have posted something there, then I know that it’s updated and don’t have to check.  Thus I don’t come.  And if I don’t come, it never updates.  Which means I should occasionally check, just in case it does.

It’s a vicious cycle, I know.

Stupidly so.

Anyways, one fine afternoon I stop by and lo!  What do I find but a comment on one of the posts.  As it’s not by me, I find this most exciting.

Not to suggest that my own comments are boring, I should hasten to add.  Far from it.  They’re absolutely thrilling.  You never know when I might use correct punctuation or end a sentence with a comma instead of a period.  Much like the posts in the blog, come to think of it,

This particular post, though, failed to live up to even that much potential.  Not that that came as a shock.  The commenter had the name of football.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen weird handles on the web.  But somehow I don’t see a Mr or Mrs football hanging around here.  I just don’t.  In all the years I’ve done this blog, I’ve mentioned football maybe four times.  That’s not a lot in a blog with well over a thousand and a half posts.

Reading the message itself did nothing to improve my opinion on things.  Observe:

Many years ago, Net sports activities book betting was risky.

It is Tennessee’s Rocky Top, Florida’s Old Ball Coach, and of course the Gator Chomp and the mighty Tim Tebow.

I guess a handful of suspensions was enough to satisfy the NCAA.

Now I realize that in a post with opening paragraphs as loosey goosey as this one has been up to this point that it might be, say, untoward to point out that the above makes little to no sense.  But I’m going to anyways.  The hell’s going on here?  We jump from one sentence to the next as if they were on fire and had a pit of lava underneath.

Much like this blog post.  Only without the intended humor.

 Sometimes looking at the post being commented on came help clear things up. In this case it’s a snarky commentary on a comic book that’s 35+ years old.  Which doesn’t help.  At all.

Not that I expected it to.  As the image at the top of the page (and the name in the title suggest) I’m fully convinced this is spambot work.  What I don’t understand is the logic behind it.  Surely there a way to program a search engine of sorts to look for the perfect post to attach the perfect faux comment.  Something that would give a person a wee pause before, I dunno, deleting it.

To give another example, last month I started getting emails from an Adrianna (I think that’s the name) claiming to have known me, seen my Facebook page or what have you (the messages varied) and wanted to reconnect.  Now besides the point I think I might remember meeting someone with a name like Adrianna, there’s the little problem of me no longer having a Facebook page.  I double checked.  The only Cullen Waters on there isn’t me.

It’s clearly not going to fool me.  It clearly won’t work and clearly destined for deletion, just like football.  Why bother?  I realize the programs doing it are mindless robotic drones, but surely the programmers aren’t.  Right?


Uh.  Might have just creeped myself out there.

Brother Todd Didn’t Like the New Transformer Movie

Tuesday, Bother Todd went to see Transformers: Age of Extinction.  He has since cursed God and is now waiting for death.

Actually, he wants me to tell you not to say that.  He believes it makes the movie sound too good.

Right now he’s watching the original Transformers series.  Not the newer ones with the good animation and quality plots.  The very first series.

He says he’d call the difference between the series and the movie like the difference between Lord of the Rings and The Eye of Argon, except that would be insulting to link a quality work like The Eye of Argon to what he’s begun calling “That #2!$ Film.”

Personally I’m glad he’s started watching the series.  The blood now just trickles from his eyes instead of the gush it had been since he went to the movies.  In time there might be a full recovery.

A second viewing and reappraisal of Transformers: Age of Extinction is doubtful.  For some reason.

REALLY Quick Glance: Naruto

I started watching Naruto around the same time I tried One Piece, and I’ve been watching good size chunks of it off and on ever since.  I adore this show.  Where else would you get to see a Giant Demon Raccoon fight a Giant Samurai Frog?  But really?  Did we need the endless flashbacks to previous stories?  They’re interfering with the endless flashbacks to past events and the endless flashbacks showing what REALLY happened during Attack X.

Learning Something New (If Not Really That Useful)

I’d heard of “symmetrical docking” before.  Even seen an example of it.  Such as this, below:

Symmetrical Docking 000

I thought I’d post this image a second time, but after drawing arrows to fully describe the “symmetrical docking”.  So everyone could see and understand just where I was coming from.  Maybe even blow up the proper section of the image.  Deleting everything else.  Save the “symmetrical docking”.  And the arrows.

Then I remembered I wasn’t thirteen.

Really.  This has been a problem of late.

In essence, symmetrical docking describes two anime females (or just plain ole females) standing so close that their boobs are smooshed together.  As above.

Aren’t you glad you now know this?  Isn’t your life more fulfilled?

Maybe if you’re thirteen…

Knowing the term, I began wondering just where it came from.

Because I’m that way.

The quickest to do this, I felt, was heading over to TV Trope.  What with it being a veritable fount of useless knowledge, I figured I’d find it’s page in no time.

Actually it took a little more than that, but this silly little essay is already almost 200 words long, and that’s about 200x longer than it should be.  To summarize, here’s what I learned, via this quote:

A phrase commonly used to describe a picture of two girls standing so close together their breasts are squished against each other. Originated from a Super Robot Wars Alpha 2 Yonkoma [4 panel comic] where, instead of showing Cho Ryu Jin’s [a giant robot's] Symmetrical Docking Transformation Sequence, a picture of original characters (with huge breasts) Kushua Mizuha and Seolla Schweitzer are shown in [said] position.

Which looks like this:

Symmetrical Docking 001

It’s the “squish” onomatopoeia in the second panel that really sells this strip.

Anyways, that’s what I learned today.  And now you know.  And knowing is half the battle.  Or a few cells of memory in your head that you’ll never use for important facts.

Honestly, I don’t see why I should be the only one to suffer.